Lack of Belief

Underrepresented

It is time for atheists to become represented in America’s government. Atheists are one of the most underrepresented groups in American politics today. There is only 1 member of congress today who is religiously unaffiliated, but 20% of America’s population consider themselves religiously unaffiliated. It is a shocking to think about. For a group that makes up 1/5 of America you would think that the group would have at least a few more congress members who are religiously unaffiliated to represent them.

When everyone else “grows deeper in their faith,”

why am I the one who’s hurt? Why am I left bitter, everyone else pleased and smug that they are doing the “will of God”? I’m left to struggle with my purpose in life, when others are handed one free of cost, with the false reward of sweet immortality.

Why am I the outsider? When I express my opinion, I’m “disrespectful.” When I don’t, I’m “not defending what I believe?

Am I the only one who’s not happy with faith? Who’s not complacent with subservience to a set of values that imprison the mind and beauty of humanity? I’m the angry heathen, going through a rebellious phase. The other good little boys and girls obediently follow the church and receive pats on the head for every regurgitated bit of bullshit they pour on nonbelievers.

Why am I the one who’s traumatized by the cult of Catholicism, while all the other Lambs of the Lord get to run free, confident in their holy ways??

I feel alienated and judged by people I want to feel close to, all because I had the common sense to question what was shoved down my throat. After all, no one likes a little girl who has the audacity to express a different opinion.

On indulgences:

I’ve been procrastinating on my “reflection” about indulgences. I’m supposed to write about my opinion and what I think about them, but that’s total bullshit. Everyone knows that if I wrote what I really feel I’d get expelled or called in for psychiatric evaluation. 

The people at my school (and in the church) are trying to pass off that indulgences have always been a good and holy thing, and are only wrong when used to build Yeah, it sounds completely moral for the church to sucker people out of their money for the sake of their “eternal salvation.” It’s one of the absolute biggest loads of bullshit in the entire Catholic belief system, aside from all of it. 

If you don’t know what indulgences are, they’re basically little “get out of hell” tickets. You pay for your “sins” on earth so that you can get into “heaven” right away after you die, yipee doo dah, no questions asked. So even the worst sins can be pardoned by something as meaningless as visiting an old church or attending a special mass (I have the list right here).

Lackofbelief’s other coblogger speculates that anyone can sell indulgences to “save your soul.” Seriously, I could just start charging people so that they could do whatever they want and not worry about the consequences (about $5 sounds like a fair price for a ticket to heaven?!!).

My father has been playing religious Christmas music for the last week.

I don’t mean fun, poppy Christmas music. Like morose, somber ballads that make you want to drop dead:

“Ave Maria” on repeat for two hours. Twelve different versions of “O Holy Night” back to back. ”Mary, Did You Know?” for an hour, WITH him singing along in his tone-deaf voice.

I want to rip my ears out.  If I complain even once it’s just extremely hateful, angry backlash.

He makes it so hard to be an atheist in this house around the holidays. sigh. Is Christmas over yet?